My response whenever I've been told "you've gone too far" is that there's no such place. Two months later, I have finally returned; my passport stamp's ink still moist. On my SatanMail adventure, I'd gone too far, and all I got was this lousy tee shirt. Then, my tee shirt spontaneously combusted.

Stagecraft and the performing arts alike are lousy with superstition. Actors fear The Scottish Play; learning from Welles' and Gilliam's mistakes, lesser directors want no part of That Guy With The Windmills. You know, the way no fat, funny White guy will ever again be cast as An Eskimo Fish Out Of Water;  and no-talent pretty-boys the world over have been warned off portrayals of The Pride of Smallville. I, personally, never believed in any of that superstition horseshit.

I, you understand, was a fucking FOOL.

It's not that I could have known that this project was cursed before I even started to work on it. I made the thing up; obviously there's no precedent. But there's plenty of precedent for why I was working on a video I knew was trying to destroy itself, myself, and everything connected to either. And that's where I was fooling myself. 

Somewhere in this whole stupid process, I stopped trying to use the Internet to further my success with the work I create--and grew further and further obsessed with attempting to employ my creativity to build more of an Internet presence. It's taken me seven years to figure out that creating stuff to have a more popular website so I can create stuff doesn't actually make any sense whatsoever. 

I, you understand, was a fucking FOOL.

Beneath every curse is an anecdote; the punchline of which is "I told you so." Curses are punishments, after all--which by definition implies that the cursed party done fucked up. Excising the curse always involves exorcising the original fault. It's almost always a simple process, too--most cursed parties just never get around to giving up the ghost (so to speak). The easy answer is that I probably shouldn't have mockingly set out to create a site, service, and video suite revolving around the concept of pure evil. But that's just blaming the walls for bleeding, or the TV for being stuck on channel 666. 

Funneling people who want to check out my work through a website means projecting every creative venture through the lens of SEO, CMS, PHP, CSS, GAT, PPC, API, and all kinds of other 3-letter four letter words. 2011 taught me the same lesson 2010 did--I'm through with making websites. It simply took me another baker's dozen months for me to realize that the websites most toxic to my career weren't the ones I was making for clients. That was more blaming the curse, and not the fact that my career was built atop an ancient American Indian burial ground. 

This isn't me quitting. This is me understanding that it's high time I stopped putting pixels before people. 

</fuckingFOOL>